Shoes in Clubs

This taboo recently came up in a discussion, and I’ve decided that the majority’s view that "it’s sometimes a good idea" is completely and utterly wrong.

Any venue, whether it be a pub or a club, that makes you wear shoes or they won't let you in, is somewhere I really don't want to be. If you ever see me in one, you'll know I have been arguing the point about not going in, accidently worn shoes out for some bizarre reason, am with work, or I am somewhere that has absolutely no where else that serves alcohol and I am in need of a drink (like Milton Keynes)

I think the point (and correct me if I’m wrong) about having to wear shoes into a place is to keep out people who might cause trouble. This is a massive fucking mistake, with many glaring omissions.

Let’s think about this logically. You're a trouble maker, you like going out at the weekend and getting boozed up and fighting. You go out one night and find you can't get in anywhere wearing your trainers, so either
a) You go home and put some shoes on
b) You remember that going out and not getting a drink because you're not wearing shoes sucks, and put shoes on the next night, or the next weekend, or whenever,
- This means you are now in shoes, and you can get in anywhere because you're wearing shoes, and you can drink, so you can now fight.

How does not wearing shoes stop (even the minority) of people who want to cause trouble? Not one iota. I mean, its not even like we live in a place where prior knowledge doesn’t exists, a friend, colleague, family member will probably tell you that you should wear shoes if you are going to certain places, its not rocket science.

Then, there's the other thing that people will say when you come up flawless argument that "wearing shoes doesn’t ensure you're not going to cause trouble" or something a bit more eloquent, bitter, or knowing dependent on your mood and who you're talking too.
They tell you it makes the place classier. They say it makes it a better standard of place. What? Really? It means it’s a better standard of place, because everyone is wearing shoes? When has this theory ever worked? In posh bars and clubs, maybe somewhere like Claridges, but in Kingston, I very much doubt that wearing shoes would make any of those places classier. Oceana in Milton Keynes, you have to wear shoes in there, doesn’t make it classy. There will just be people in jeans, t-shirts and shoes running around drunk and fighting, as they would do if they were in trainers.

Two things that annoy me even more about ‘shoe only’ venues are that the only places you can't get in if they have a no shoe rule and you're wearing converse or keds or something,

1) Are places where there are always fights, or regularly fights, or occasionally fights, which is why they bought in their stupid motherfucking rule
2) Have Bouncers,

The bouncer’s one really pisses me off. Really, them telling you that "no shoes allowed" is just the same as them telling you "not tonight son" because they don't like the look of you. The whole point with bouncers is they can let in and turn away who the hell they want. If you look like trouble, they shouldn’t let you in, if you look like trouble in trainers, you're gonna look like trouble in shoes. I'm pretty sure a bouncer will know the score but they hide behind their shoe policy. It’s a fucking joke.

Big Bouncer = Scary

Ghosts

They're fucking bullshit

"Most Haunted" team.....fucking idiots

I was going to write something lengthy about there being no god, no life after death, no souls roaming the earth, then I got I bit bored and quite down and miserable, thinking about such a morbid subject. Its not the kind of thing to write about on a dull afternoon. I’ll end up listening to some emo and dying my hair black or something equally pathetic.

So, to summise, I am a bit bored, I don’t think ghosts exist, anyone who says they’ve seen a ghost is a fucking idiot.

Derek Acorah - Massive Cunt

People who don’t sit down when there’s a space on the tube.

You are all massive cunts. You are the scourge of commuters everywhere, you stand there in the middle of the aisle, and when people get up from their seats and get off the tube, you don’t take their seat. If you don’t want to sit down, don’t stand in the middle of the fucking carriage between the seats. You are blocking the way for people like me who deliberately stand there to get seats. Nine times out of ten you’ll be blocking someone who’s been on the tube for more than two stops, and because of your ignorant, stupid, fucking childish blocking tactics, mean someone who’s just got on the tube gets a seat.

You all know it’s true. You get on, some douche moves down the carriage between the seats, you’re there, doing the same as you always do, eyeing up people to see if they pick up their bag, fold up their newspaper, put in a bookmark of some sorts in their novel and wait to pounce on the spare seat as soon as it’s vacated. But there’s someone in a better position to take the seat than you, it would be futile, rude even, to try to squeeze your butt into the space, so you resign yourself to standing till someone else in your vicinity gets off, and hope you are in a decent enough position to take their space. It’s like musical chairs, only no one gets a fun prize at the end.

No, not again, I mean, what the fuck, the seat is still empty, the douche in front of you hasn’t taken it, maybe its ok to push past to get there, oh fuck no, some fucker has just walked on, and is totally going to beat me to the seat, they’ve got the forward momentum from entering the tube, they’ve got a clear route to the seat, people are aware of their movement, people have seen the space. This isn’t fair, it should be my seat, I’ve been waiting for three stops to get a seat, and now I’m blocked by someone who doesn’t even want a seat, how did I get in this position, standing behind some fucker who should be standing well out of the way of people like me, people who want to sit the fuck down on the tube in the morning. You absolute bastard.

Why do you stand there if you don’t want a seat? Do you do it to annoy people like me, people who want a seat? Or are you just really really really fucking ignorant, dumb, retarded, stupid, or do you honestly think you are doing the right thing by moving down? Reality check, you are not, get the fuck out of my way before I do something you’ll regret.

I tell you what as well, I bet these people, the fucking pricks that don’t want to sit down (its 75% male as well, for some reason, women will get into catfights for seats whereas men don’t really want it as badly), I bet they are the assholes that stand on the left hand side of the escalator, so as to block me from moving up and down freely rather than the confines of the speed of the elevator. I bet they’re the ones who walk the wrong way through the underground between tubes, and stop suddenly to work out what line they need to take, so as to make me walk into them and apologise because I’m too fucking polite or tired or hung-over to bother with being rude. I bet they walk really really slowly down the stairs or between tubes and when you walk fast past them, they tut, sigh or complain, the ones that when you get off the tube and can see the tube you want to get waiting on the other platform make sure they walk as slow as possible so you look like a cunt by pushing past to get on the tube only for either
a) It to leave before you get there so you look like a bigger arsehole
b) It doesn’t leave for ages and you look like a massive bellend when you get on, having rushed and everyone on the carriage thinks you are a tool for rushing and smiling thinking “good, made it, I don’t have to wait another two minutes for another tube”

Plus, I reckon these cunts are the ones that, if they decided to cycle anywhere, would do it in the dark, without a helmet or hi vis clothing or lights and bike on the pavement because they think its ‘safer’. Safer for who asshole? You? Put a fucking helmet on, buy some lights and get on the fucking road, asshole.
Actually, just get the fuck out of London, you’re ruining it for the rest of us.